Longing…

Imagine yourself a sailor,

On the cold north Pacific in the middle of winter.

Imagine yourself a sea-captain,

Driving your little fishing boat through the waves stories high.

 

Imagine the rush.

Imagine the torrent.

Imagine the way you must feel.

Imagine the exhilaration.

 

You drive your little boat through the waves,

And as the storm worsens, you begin to wonder if you’ll be able to keep it afloat.

You worry about yourself and your little crew.

You worry about death to them, suffering to them, or the moment might see the wave that dooms you approaching from the side of your little sloop.

 

Your heart beats, your mind rushes, your heart starts to eel a little dread.

You wish, for just a solemn moment, that you hadn’t put your men in harm’s way.

But you know you have, and as you think of your very own family and the suffering they will feel at your loss,

You start to dread the oncoming fate.

 

But then you have a moment of profound, almost divine, awareness.

That moment your mind naturally turns from “flight” to “fight”,

Because it knows there is no way to flee, nowhere to flee too,

Save straight into the storm.

 

Your heart swells with a very different emotion then!

Your heart swells with the excitement as you move your tongue to the side of your mouth with excited determination.

Your thoughts shift from “wow, my family is going to miss me” into “The outcome is out of my control, so I’m going to drive this thing as hard and fast as I can, and if I die then I went down in a blaze of furious indifference!”

Because when your mind makes that jump, from “flight” to “fight”, it understands that the only way you might make a miracle happen is to actually try to make one happen, rather than waiting eagerly for one.

 

So you drive your little boat forward. You tell your deck hands to strap in and hold on to whatever they can!

And one by one, you take the waves on, head-on, with excited, enthralled, child-like joy.

If you can see a big wave coming, you turn directly into it and face it head on just to see how much water you can get on your windshield.

And your boat responds, because machinery is made by the hands of men, and men are made by God with a spirit that yearns for a challenge.

 

As I drove around town the other day in a rainstorm unlike what we’ve seen this storm season,

I imagined that very rush, and saw myself in just such a place.

My natural tendency was to hug the edges of the road with my tires so I could splash through every major puddle as fast as I could,

Creating a wave of water big enough that even without the falling rain, I had to use my windshield wipers.

 

And it was a rush! It was a joyous, passionate, fire-filled rush!

I have an abnormal love for the water, an abnormal love and craving for the sea, even though the closest I’ve ever been was on a beach or in a kayak on a lake.

I long desperately for the sea.

One day, one day, we shall meet.

 

Maybe that’s where my true love doth lie… 🙂

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