You could have called it an “epiphany” even, but it wasn’t the cliché type that you felt right away or were overwhelmed by. Rather, it was the moment you felt a sense of relief, because you realized you had been compartmentalized a little too tightly. You had let yourself, actually even fought to force yourself, to fit into one little box, even having been through enough that you should have known you weren’t meant for that, you couldn’t operate like that and you couldn’t ever actually be happy like that. It was that moment you broke your own little mold a bit to reclaim that vital versatility you were meant to maintain.
It was that moment you did it and went through your motions that day, feeling like you should have felt more. A bit like the moment you drive through a terrible car crash on the highway as it’s happening, barely missing it and emerging on the other side thinking “wow I almost died!” but having been through enough scary experiences in your life that even as that recognition set it, realizing you were still as calm as as if you had just woken up on a Sunday morning while on vacation even though your heart “should” have been beating out of your chest.
Yeah, it was something like that. Blogging, and even to a degree writing, just became a hobby. 🙂