Misguided Chain Reactions

I saw a meme on Facebook the other day:

“You wouldn’t worry about what people thought of you so much if you knew how little they did.”

I saw another, which I’m paraphrasing because I’m not sure I have it worded exactly right.

Don’t dwell too long on the negative things in life, but rather turn your energy to those things and people that inspire you.

Maybe it was Tara Stiles, a famous Yogi I’m a fan of, who said that last one. Maybe it’s written in the Holy Bible; I’m sure it’s certainly wise enough a sentiment to be in there. Regardless, there’s an inherent vitality to the ideas presented in these two modern morals if we just listen to them.

On one hand, we have a quote telling us not to worry about what other people think, while on the other we have one telling us to focus our hearts on those that inspire us, not those that bring us down.

I think we ought to focus on thanking those who inspire us by becoming great enough that we inspire them to keep on inspiring.

We ought to seek people around us who build us up, people who we know will think of us in their nightly prayers and who will look forward to our company in the coming days. We ought to surround ourselves with no nonsense people who will push us and inspire us and put us in our places when we aren’t living up to our obligations. People who will call us out not just when we aren’t living up to the physical obligations we make like showing up to meetings on time, but the obligations we make that are more mental, such as showing up prepared and energetic and ready to work whenever we arrive somewhere. We should seek people like my friend and mentor in the Tap Ensemble here at K-State who tells me bluntly when I need to work on a step and master it, even if it’s a basic one, but who I believe also will call me out in the morning if I don’t bring my normal energy to the place as well. We should seek to put ourselves in company of people like this, people who’s toughness with us is founded in care and the desire to see us grow. People who’s skill in our chosen crafts inspire us to push ourselves harder; not so that they’ll think more of us when we’re not around, but so they’ll think more of us when we are.

As we strive to be better and to fulfill the expectations of those who inspire us, we should deliberately think more of them. We should think of them in our evening prayers, we should tell people about how grateful we are for them, we should thank God for them or the universe for them, or maybe both depending on your beliefs.

The people of the world generally have a problem: we focus too readily on things that bring us down.

When I say “bring us down,” I don’t just mean things that make us “sad.” I think that’s part of the problem too, our communicators and writers have gotten so cliché in their use of the word “down” that it can seemingly mean nothing else beside “sad.” But thoughts and emotions that bring us down can be completely unrelated to sadness. Fear or anger are obvious ones that can make a person feel “down,” but there are less obvious emotions such as resentment, jealousy, and even irritation or annoyance that can do the same. These things cause us to think more about negative things, things we don’t like or believe in, and they draw our focus away from what we should be focused on: our passions and using them to benefit the universe as much as possible.

This morning, I woke up and checked Facebook and saw my employer, the newspaper, posted an article about the band’s performance at the K-State football game last night. I saw how many people were offended by the performance. I was irritated, not at the newspaper at all by any means, which I’m grateful and blessed enough to be employed by, but at the idea people were so offended by what I thought was an amazing performance. I was irritated at how many people saw a sexual innuendo in it. Maybe I was too naive to see it, even as I watched it live online and had a “bird’s eye” view of the thing. Maybe I was too naive or stubborn to see it even as I watched the meme online afterward while trying to focus on the video itself instead of the childish giggling of the twenty-something-year-olds in the background. Maybe my mind isn’t in the gutter as much as I sometimes beat myself up for it being.

Either way, the performance was good, and I can’t imagine performing music while marching in such specific patterns while listening to the music, keeping rhythm and beat, and staying in step. The difficulty of such a combination is unimaginable for me. I sang choir for four years. Maybe I wasn’t any good, but just singing the right notes with the right dynamics and tempo alone was hard. Doing it while moving would have been nearly impossible. Still, people were hating on/criticizing the band members and the band director, so much that the band director put out an official statement on Facebook. This really angered me. It still does when I think about it.

I digress again, and there you see how quickly it can happen! There you see how easy that trap of negativity is to fall into even as I write about it and am consciously aware of it. That quote up near the top of the page about focusing on what inspires you, instead of what brings you down, immediately came to my heart even as I read the article and got annoyed at all the Hatorade baths people were giving the band instead of the Gatorade baths they deserved.

When I realized my irritation, it felt like a gentle scolding. It came from all I’d been taught by God and life. It was not an angry scolding but rather a disappointed one. In my soul, it felt the way the words “Son, come on now. What are you doing?” would have felt had those come from my mom or dad as I grew up. It wasn’t angry, but it was clearly a distinct, unhappy call to step up my game and focus.

That’s my point in all of this. We as society need to focus more. We need to stop dwelling on what’s bad or what irritates us. It’s okay to feel those things, it’s even okay to ponder why they are bad or irritating. It isn’t productive to dwell on them though. We need to find our passions in life; those things that we can do as energetically as we used to play on the playgrounds in our elementary schools, and focus on those.

We should be focused on what we love. We should be focused on serving God and the universe (depending on your beliefs here) through our passions. We should be so focused, in fact, that we don’t have time to keep dwelling on what upsets us, or bothers us, or angers us beyond the point that it inspires us to try and change it. In other words, if it’s not something we can control but it’s something we don’t like, we must be tough enough and disciplined enough to turn our attention back to making the most good with what we can: our passions.

When start to do that, when we start again to dwell on those people or things that inspire us to be better, we will begin to inspire others to be better. We will think of them when they are not around and they will think of us, and we will start to create a circle of inspiration that will spread like a nuclear reaction, and the world will be better for it.

It has to start with us, and it has to start right the hell now.

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What it must be like where Stuart Scott is now

With yesterday’s passing of one of ESPN’s most polarizing and well loved analysts and commentators, the sports world wept. That continued into today, with various sports shows including “Around The Horn” and “SVP & Russillo” featuring touching tributes from anyone who knew him. At one point, during the “Countdown To Kickoff” on Sunday, the show opened up the phone lines to callers who shared their random stories about him. People as common as I, not public figures but private citizens, sharing their thoughts and their stories about how he influenced them or how he treated them when we ran into them walking down the street on various occasions. All of these were amazing stories and they testify to the character of the man.

As I lay here tonight, I imagine where he is now. I imagine him meeting God. I don’t say when because where he is, I don’t believe time matters anymore. I believe God has the power to work all things at the same time, and so for Stuart, he probably doesn’t think anything of time all. He probably shouldn’t either, I mean he’s getting ready to meet the creator of the universe. Somehow though, I bet he’s still got on that black suit with the purple handkerchief that he wore to the 2014 ESPY’s, and somehow I believe he’s still walking up to the gates at least looking like he owns the place, even though he’s smart enough to know what he’s about to encounter and actually is feeling quite humble inside. But by all accounts, the man never let his composure get away from him in this lifetime, not when the lights were on him, even when he worked in a physically weakened state. All accounts from his peers say that even if he drifted off right before the red light of the television camera came one, once that thing was on, he was fresher than any 20-year-old basketball player. So I like to imagine that as he walks in through the beautiful, dark oak doors of heaven, God’s happy to see him come in with all the swagger he had during his lifetime. That was one of God’s gifts to the man, so of course he doesn’t get stripped of it just because he’s in heaven now. If anything, he’s got even more of it now that he’s there.

Stuart walks in, and after a conversation God forgives him for his sins. Again, I don’t use time references here about whether this is a short conversation or a long one, because time is irrelevant where he is. An entire early lifetime could all happen at once there. By all accounts though, Stuart lived a life full of love; for what he did, for himself, for his peers in the journalism world, for the athletes he wrote, talked and spoke about, and above all for his two daughters, and God sees that. So after a conversation, and after he is forgiven, God and Stuart go about their other worldly stuff. God introduces him to those who influenced him, introduces him to family he loved but maybe never got to know like he wanted, and gives him his rank among the angels and what that entails. Stuart accepts all of these, graciously and humbly, but most of all he sheds tears as he finally meets those he wanted to love but never got the chance to know enough in his youth. Those he didn’t get a chance to apologize too perhaps, or those he wishes he had said “I love you” to but never could because of freak accidents or what not. We all have those, Stuart was human so he probably did too. But where he is is, it’s all amended. Every wrong is righted, every wound is healed, and every friendship a person ever wanted is now theirs, with all eternity to begin it.

After some time though, God summons Stuart. Stuart has been, by God’s establishment, mentally diverted from thinking about earth until now, but when Stuart shows up, God freezes earthly time and shows him all that’s happened in the last 36 hours. First, He shows Stuart that his daughters are going to be okay, that even though they grieve God shows Stuart a glimpse of the future so that he sees them find happiness and sees the positive influence he had on them. Then He brings Stuart’s focus, his worry about his daughters now relieved, to the rest of us, and He shows Stuart all of these tributes. He shows the poetic messages of Scott Van Pelt, Tony Reali and so many others, the tears behind closed doors of random sports fans and grown men around the country who grew up watching him, and the memorable way the seat at last night’s SportsCenter was left open in memory of him. The God turns to Stuart and says something.

“You see? You made the world so much of a better place. You worked hard and you endured a lot; only you and I know truly how much. But look at what you did. I put you on that earth to do something, sure, but more importantly I put you there to inspire. Look at the good you inspired. I’m proud of you.” 🙂

And as for all of us, dear world:

The way we’ve honored this man should make us proud too. We’ve done well by him. I’m proud of us. 🙂