Misc Musings: The Right To Growth

Growth sometimes means changing your mind about something you were once certain of.

It can mean doing things you once swore you wouldn’t, because sometimes you don’t know everything, and sometimes, even and perhaps especially in adulthood, you learn things. This is both Biblical: “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me,” (1st Corinthians 13:11), and common sense. Yet I was caught completely off-guard not long ago by someone’s apparent disagreement with me on this, so much so that I had to take a few weeks and digest what she said and make sure I was confident in what I believed.

In this conversation, I told the person about something I was learning about Love, and how it was causing me to reconsider some of my previous beliefs and/or approaches to it. I received haunting criticism for it. She felt I was “going back” or “backpedaling.” She apparently saw it as a sign of immaturity.
But today I write to make a definite statement in my own defense, to aggresively and forcefully make a proclamation I’m willing to vigorously debate with anyone:

We must preserve our right as individuals to change our minds.

We must preserve the right to adapt our thinking and if necessary change our circumstances or our course. Failing to protect our right to change our mind also in effect yields our right to continue to grow, even as adults. Obviously I mean within the limits of the law, I.E. if you sign a contract of some kind you’re giving up your right to change your mind per the wording of that particular contract. What I am speaking of today is simply in circumstances regarding relationships and things of that nature, where only the laws of ethical conduct apply.

In my suspicion, adulthood is when we do most of our mental growing, making it all the more vital we preserve our rights to change our minds into and through the later portion of our lives.

We must never stop growing, reconsidering things, reanalyzing. It dishonors our existence if we allow ourselves and our ideas to stagnate. We must never, ever be so confident in our beliefs that we never are willing to reconsider them. We must, under all circumstances, continue to seek wisdom, continue to strive for perfection, and aspire to excellence.

I refuse to see changing one’s mind as a sign of immaturity. But if it is, I should think it better to be considered “immature” anyway.
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Epiphany

You could have called it an “epiphany” even, but it wasn’t the cliché type that you felt right away or were overwhelmed by. Rather, it was the moment you felt a sense of relief, because you realized you had been compartmentalized a little too tightly. You had let yourself, actually even fought to force yourself, to fit into one little box, even having been through enough that you should have known you weren’t meant for that, you couldn’t operate like that and you couldn’t ever actually be happy like that. It was that moment you broke your own little mold a bit to reclaim that vital versatility you were meant to maintain.

It was that moment you did it and went through your motions that day, feeling like you should have felt more. A bit like the moment you drive through a terrible car crash on the highway as it’s happening, barely missing it and emerging on the other side thinking “wow I almost died!” but having been through enough scary experiences in your life that even as that recognition set it, realizing you were still as calm as as if you had just woken up on a Sunday morning while on vacation even though your heart “should” have been beating out of your chest.

Yeah, it was something like that. Blogging, and even to a degree writing, just became a hobby. 🙂

Misc Musings!!! (Category Description)

Welcome my “Misc Musings!!!” page. This is a post specifically to describe what you’ll find here.

This is where I’ll generally post any random thoughts that I feel are worth sharing but which don’t fall under the other dedicated categories. Some will be Facebook statuses that I think the general world may take enjoyment from, sometimes they’ll just be rants. This will be, in essence, where I put whatever I’m thinking on any given day. 🙂

Don’t write this page off just because of it’s position though, because it’s also where I’ll post those stories that inspire me, about people who make me believe in people. That’s honestly the biggest purpose of this blog. So if you need some inspiration, this is the place from whence I’ll share it :).

Enjoy 🙂

Growing Up, If Only A Little

I heard the ice break outside my window. I laid up in bed and watched out the window as one hooded figure about 5 feet tall slid carefully across the ice on the sidewalk across the street. It halted at the corner, and another figure of similar height and description approached from another direction to meet them.

I watched intently. On a foggy Manhattan morning in which the city actually received its first rain of the year, I wondered if I was about to watch some kind of drug deal go down or something. Here were these two hooded figures having a conversation at length and meeting on a dimly lit street corner at 7:00 A.m. on a Friday. I wondered also, should this be some kind of drug deal, if I was signing my death certificate, as I made no attempt to hide my face. Still, having wondered this, I figured any damage or damnation was already done, and I thus continued to watch.

After about five minutes of doing this I laid back down, my curiosity satisfied after seeing nothing. Then, after about 3 minutes of daydreaming, I heard what sounded like a big truck come to a stop. I looked up, and saw a school bus. And I laughed. 🙂

When my little brother came out to visit just before the end of 2013, I had a conversation with him. At 13 years old, he told me he didn’t want to grow up because it sounded like it sucked; with bills and job commitments and that kind of thing. At the time, I tried my best to explain to him that actually it was quite worth it. There was the freedom to do whatever you wanted if you could find a way to afford it (and so long as it was legal, which I feel goes without saying), there was the freedom to choose how hard to work and how far to go with what work you did and the freedom to choose where you worked at all. There was the freedom to not stress about anything when you didn’t want to, to wake up when you wanted to (based on your other commitments of course), and the freedom to decide HOW you wanted to live. To decide to rent a place, buy a place, and to decorate or make it whatever you wanted based on that, and who to live with or whether or not to live alone. The option to choose when to go drive, where to go drive, and what to go do on your drive. For all the hassles that adult life may have and cause, I tried to explain to him that it’s completely and wonderfully worth it.

But as I laid down in bed, having seen that school bus pick up those two kids and turn down the road toward the local elementary school, I realized that all the reasons in the world were irrelevant compared to this feeling. I laid down in my queen sized bed, checked my phone, and basked in the comfort of how soft it was. I had chosen it, and I had chosen well. Getting to simply feel happy as I lay there and daydream, about winning a poetry contest or taking the girl of my dreams out on a date, was the only reason I needed to be glad I’d grown up a little.

I wish I could have just imparted that feeling upon him…

Thanks for reading…